These real "late for college" excuses are hilarious

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Carolyn Robertson

posted in Parenting

My children aren’t absent from college all that usually, however we have been late — “tardy” appears a greater phrase for it, an additional dose of guilt implied — many occasions over time.

Every time it occurs, we drag our sorry selves to the workplace to report the excuse for our tardiness within the little ebook that sits on the secretary’s desk. Nothing like a written, everlasting report of your parenting screw-ups.

Normally we do not have an excellent excuse.

I burned the eggs.
Her pants had been itchy.
The cat threw up.
The clock wasn’t working.
She misplaced a shoe.
I misplaced my sh*t.

I do not write any of this within the ebook, however possibly I ought to begin. If nothing else, it will make for some entertaining studying for the college secretary if all of us recorded the brutally sincere causes our youngsters are late or absent.

A guardian on Reddit just lately requested different mothers and dads to do exactly that, to ‘fess as much as essentially the most uncommon causes they’ve ever recorded on the college absentee log. A number of the solutions are fairly priceless.

“She will not be in right this moment as a result of the ground is lava and she will be able to’t get off the bed.”

“My youngster is okay however my different youngster puked on me and after showering twice right this moment he puked on me once more and now i’ve to bathe a 3rd time and i am simply going again to mattress and i am gonna let the youngsters watch television, so they are not coming to highschool.”

“We’re skipping college to go watch the whole eclipse a number of states away.”

“Youngest will likely be absent on account of an allergic response to both poison oak or poison ivy. He was chased by an enraged beaver by way of the underbrush and now he appears like a leper.”

“Took my child in late one morning and was completely satisfied to see that everybody used the identical excuse, ‘The Tremendous Bowl.’ Since we stay in Atlanta I am fairly positive each tardy was excused that day.”

“Son will not be in right this moment. He was taking part in NERF weapons with Dad and ran full power into the nook of the toilet door. He now has a black eye and I will be keeping track of him right this moment.”

“We’re late right this moment as a result of there was an FBI drug raid in one among our neighboring flats, and all of the cops blocked my automobile within the parking zone.”

“Poor parenting. Sorry, I attempted to give you an excellent excuse however the truth is Its 7:56 and I awakened three minutes in the past.”

Poor parenting. That is about as brutally sincere because it will get!

What humorous excuses have you ever needed to give for your children being late or absent?

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Picture by iStock

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