7 crazy AF birth stories that are every mom’s nightmare

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“I received a name from my BFF,” Ummmm…why are you crowning on MySpace?’ I appeared, and to my horror, in the course of the album I had simply uploaded have been about fifteen crotch photographs of the latest birth of my daughter.”


Oh my gosh. What’s it in regards to the second half of being pregnant that makes birth stories so irresistible? It’s like we expectant moms go straight from needing to know every potential being pregnant signs throughout our two-week wait to needing to know every single birth story that ever occurred within the historical past of the world.

We wish to snort, we wish to cry, we wish to mentally put together ourselves for any and every consequence. And, possibly greater than something, we wish to know that — no matter embarrassing issues our our bodies resolve to do throughout labor — we are regular.


So, right here are 7 superior crazy AF birth stories that truly are type of regular.

  1. “I gave birth to my candy child lady on the bathroom 4 minutes after arriving on the hospital [while] my husband and son have been parking the automobile. Once they got here again, I used to be holding her (placenta nonetheless hooked up) and strolling to the mattress. Can’t wait to inform [my daughter’s] promenade date that she’s a bathroom child!”
  2. “I used to be bouncing on a birth ball binge watching American Horror Story season 1….I lastly completed the collection and realized that I used to be uncomfortable. My husband and I headed to the hospital and walked within the emergency room doorways…I advised the nurse I couldn’t cease pushing, in order that they minimize my yoga pants off to search out my son crowning (my amniotic sac nonetheless intact). They broke my water and he was out in 2 minutes, solely eight minutes from arriving on the hospital. Actually the weirdest birth ever.”
  3. “With my first, it took them sticking me with the needle 9 instances earlier than the epidural took…a couple of hours later one among my greatest pals came visiting (whereas nonetheless in labor) and he or she unintentional pulled it out whereas rubbing my neck….”
  4. “My Dr. received mad at me as a result of I wasn’t pushing my child out quick sufficient for her. She received so upset that she walked out of the room and advised the nurses ‘Name me when she’s truly prepared.’ I used to be like wtf!!! As quickly as she left, my child’s head got here out.”
  5. “I gave birth within the automobile this morning with my husband going 80 mph. First contraction at 11:30 PM and he was born within the automobile at 2 AM. It was insane. I caught my very own child whereas totally clothed within the automobile. I nonetheless can’t imagine that it occurred.”
  6. “They minimize my physique open and pulled infants out of me whereas I used to be awake. That was fairly crazy.”
  7. “Yeah, a human being got here out of my hooha!”

I shared the final two as a result of when studying them I had a revelation. Yeah, having a child is fairly crazy, interval. Even in case you don’t have a crazy birth story.

Photographs by Thinkstock, iStock

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